


The Phan-Tom Of Howlter House

by TheAlphaFox



Series: Two Spoons- The Cutlery Drawer [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Halloween, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-31
Updated: 2015-10-31
Packaged: 2018-04-29 04:16:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5115437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAlphaFox/pseuds/TheAlphaFox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan hates Halloween. It scares him to death and he can't be doing with all the jumpscares.</p><p>Phil doesn't mind Halloween but some strange things are going on in their flat and he thinks he's going mad.</p><p>But there's someone else in their flat who loves Halloween, and he's on a mission to make sure Phan love it too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 11am

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY HALLOWEEN CUBS!
> 
> Okay, I don't really celebrate Halloween, but I thought I'd write this anyway, at the request of my good friend Ty. Shout-out to you, honey, you can keep trying to educate me about Halloween and maybe one day I'll be more like Phil than Dan xx

In Dan and Phil’s kitchen, one half of the famous duo is making something to eat, whilst the other is attempting to stay in bed despite the fact that he has a to-do list set for most of the day on his iPhone. Who knows? Responsibilities may yet go away if you just sleep through them!

“Dan!” Phil calls from the kitchen, making his ‘peasant’ instant coffee with one hand and activating the toaster with the other. “Breakfast!” Or should I say lunch, he adds mentally, stirring the strong blend in his Dan and Phil Shop mug. He sets the spoon down in the kitchen sink once he's done with it, and takes a sip.

In his bedroom, Dan moans like a wounded animal and swats at his amber lamp, which he’s left on all night to ward off evil spirits. “Phil, I don’t want to get up, it’s Halloween and I’m probably going to shit myself.” he shouts back, ducking his wild hobbit hair under the covers. Phil laughs, and calls him out on his commitments in a way that only annoyingly responsible older flatmates can. “Spooky week ends tonight, remember? We’ve got to play something for the subscribers- it’s the last time this year!”  
“Little sadists.” Dan mutters darkly, burrowing ever further under his pile of blankets.

Phil just laughs again, that adorable chuckle that makes Dan smile regardless of the mood he’s in. “Come on , Bear.” he implores, walking up the hallway to Dan’s room. Dan sits up and glares at him as he opens the door. “Phil, this has gone too far- now every time you call me that, I think of Five Nights at Freddy’s!”  
“Well,” Phil says, grinning as he walks over to perch on the end of Dan’s bed. “You can’t be any worse at surviving in real life than you are in the actual game, so I’m sure you’ll be fine.” The younger man gives him a grumpy look that still carries the frustrated innocence of youth. Phil marvels at it. How Dan can look anything like innocent, he doesn’t know. Innuendo seems to be second nature to his flatmate. “Happy Halloween, Bear.” When that fails to inspire any sort of indication of Dan getting out of bed, Phil just gets up and leaves. “I made toast and coffee.” he says, not turning around, as he walks back into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, satisfied with the noise of Dan trying to get out of bed whilst all tangled up in the covers- with some truly awful accompanying curses that Phil can’t help wanting to bleep out of his life- Phil grabs his coffee and absentmindedly takes a sip.

And the spoon pokes him right in the eye.

“SHI-ne a light!” he gasps, rubbing at his poor left eye as it streams with pained tears. “I swear I put that in the sink!” 

He wanders over to said sink, and glances into it. Sure enough, there’s no spoon there. “Damn it…” Phil mutters angrily. Dan walks into the kitchen, still seeming more dead than alive and wearing nothing but a pair of black boxers (obviously). “Jesus Christ, Phil, what the hell happened to you?” he asks, frowning at Phil’s ruined eye.  
“Er, I left the spoon in my coffee.” Phil says absentmindedly, gesturing towards the full pot of coffee he’s left on the side. Dan reaches into the cupboard over the sink for his Hello Kitty mug, and then glances down into the sink. “Phil, why do you leave used spoons in the sink without putting the washing up bowl into it first? There’s a massive coffee stain in it now.” he sighs in exasperation, pouring himself a drink.  
“What?” Phil asks, frowning. “I cleaned that sink yesterday!”  
“Yeah, so you must have left a spoon this morning, because there’s a stain now. Look!” Dan says pointing into the sink. Phil rolls his sore eyes. “Dan, I’ve only used one spoon today. I thought I’d put it in the sink before I came to wake you up, but apparently not, because it just hit me in the eye.”  
“Phil. Just look at the bloody sink.” Dan says, giving him a strange look. Phil obliges, giving up. Sometimes, it’s just easier to appease Dan, rather than argu- what the HELL, there’s a actual stain in the sink, right where Phil can remember leaving his spoon!  
“I…” Phil says in sheer amazement, staring.

It probably IS a little bit strange, arguing about this first thing in the morning, but Phil could swear that he put that spoon to be washed up- and he’d left the room with it SITTING IN the bloody sink! Dan gives him an odd look, and then sighs. “Whatever. Anyway, do you want to go and get some lunch? I can’t be arsed to cook.” Phil nods slowly, wondering if maybe he just drinks his coffee too strong. Or if he's losing his mind. “Sure. Just give me a minute to clean the sink.”

Dan gives him a wry smile. “Honestly, we live in a bloody dream world, you know that? Next you’ll be trying to tell me that the flat is haunted or something!” Phil tries very hard not to entertain that possibility, simply reaching into a cupboard for the sink cleaner and a sponge. “Yeah, maybe not. Go and have a shower, Bear, you take forever- I won’t be long.”  
“Whatever!” Dan laughs, finally somewhat awake, as he saunters off into the hallway. Phil shakes his head. The flat definitely ISN’T haunted.

And why would a ghost want to poke him in the eye?


	2. 12- noon

Lunch in Starbucks was a brilliant idea, Dan thinks contentedly, as he leans back against the sofa he has claimed and waits for Phil to get back with their drinks. That's the one good thing that Halloween brings, he supposes, the seasonal drinks.

He glances up from his existential musings to see his favourite person standing over him, a cup in each hand. "Okay," Phil says with a cheerful smile, "For Sir, a Spiced Pumpkin Latte."  
"Thanks, you spoon." Dan says, taking his drink fondly. Phil takes a seat opposite and sips at his cup of tea.   
"Oh, don't even talk to me about spoons." he says, feigning rage. Dan has to laugh.   
"I'm sorry I had a go earlier. A stain in the sink isn't all that important."

Phil shrugs, and puts his cup down. "No worries, Bear, really. So, what are our plans for the rest of the day?"  
Dan pulls out his iPhone and scrolls through his Notes. "Record a new gaming video, watch a few scary films, play Outlast- because it IS scary, you fuc- fudge face." Phil giggles.   
"Fudge face? Really?" Dan nods over his shoulder a bit guiltily, and Phil turns around to see a little girl sitting on the sofa behind theirs. She gives him a beaming smile, which he returns effortlessly. She reminds him of Darcy.   
"Nice save, Bear." Phil mutters, as he turns back to Dan. Dan sighs.   
"Thanks. Anyway, we need to get going, Philly- grab your cup and let's go, we've got stuff to do."

So Phil leaps up and follows Dan out of the shop, British beverage of choice in hand, pausing only to wave to the little girl as he leaves.


	3. 1pm

They're almost to the tube station when Dan grabs Phil's arm like an excited little child, gasping like he's just seen Santa breakdancing for money on the kerb. "What?" Phil says, turning round to follow Dan's joyous gaze. "Oh, right, pumpkins!"

There's a stall full of pumpkins in every shape and size set up just outside the tube station, run by a smiling man aged about 30. He's bundled up against the suburban London chill in a thick orange coat, the same shade as his wares, with an old leather money belt around his waist. "Alright, mate?" he says cheerfully, as Dan approaches.  
"Yes, thanks, you?" Phil replies, rolling his eyes. Dan's already too engrossed in the pumpkins to answer.

The man chuckles too. "£2 each, gentlemen, or 2 for £3."  
"Okay, great, we can pick one each!" Phil says, handing the man the money. He smiles again in thanks and tucks the coins away, watching as Dan works his way through the pile in search of the perfect pumpkin.

Phil picks up a few and turns them over in his hands- big ones, smaller ones, perfectly round ones, misshapen ones- until he finds a decent one that's medium sized and roughly spherical. "I'll have this one." he decides aloud, turning to see what Dan's picked.

Of course, Dan has found the only pumpkin in the world that's barely the size of an apple.  
"Why?" Phil asks, walking over to Dan to inspect the pumpkin further.  
"Because nobody's going to love him if I don't buy him!" Dan says, his voice genuinely sounding emotive. Phil's well used to it by now, Dan's occasional outbursts of love for inanimate objects that he finds endearing, so he merely pats the little pumpkin in Dan's hands and says "Okay, Bear. Hey, at least yours will be easier to get home on the train."

Once Dan realises that he's not going to have to pick another pumpkin, he gives Phil a beaming smile, thanks the seller again, and sets off for the station entrance. Phil smiles at the seller too, who asks him "Is he always like that?"

Phil sighs fondly as he follows Dan. "Yes." he says. "Yes, he is."


	4. 2pm

"Phil, I swear to God, if I fall off my chair today then I am quitting Spooky Week forever!" Dan complains, as Phil adjusts the camera.  
"You can't quit!" Phil gasps. "I do not want to sit in the dark on my own."  
Dan rolls his eyes and gestures to the abandoned 'Outlast' leaflet he kicked under the desk a year ago. "I did."  
"And the electricity bill doubled."  
"Fuck off!"

"Anyway, Bear," Phil smiles, "This is for the subscribers."  
"Who apparently enjoy our suffering."  
Phil doesn't know what to say to that, so he simply takes Dan's coffee out of his hand. "Phil!" Dan protests, grabbing for it.  
"No, Dan, remember Chair-gate? I don't want to have to clean coffee off the equipment again."

Dan pouts so beautifully that Phil wonders why he never became a model. "You can have another coffee when we've recorded this, alright, Bear?"

"Fine." Dan sulks, taking hold of the mouse. "But if you make us die, you're making my coffee for the next year." Phil just nods solemnly.   
"Sure."

"Phil, move your feet." Dan suddenly says, as he goes to start up the PC. "What?" Phil asks. "Why?"  
"You must be kicking the wire, something's tugging the mouse."  
"Er, Dan..." Phil says slowly, gesturing to both his feet directly below his chair."  
"Oh, GOD, maybe it's a real mouse or something." Dan groans. Phil shakes his had. "No, we've never found any traces of mice before. It's probably caught on something."  
"Yeah." Dan agrees thoughtfully, trying to pretend that it doesn't feel like someone is deliberately pulling the mouse out of his hand. "Yeah. Let's play."


	5. 3pm

"Ugh, editing is boring... Thank the Lord for that girl who does the jump scares." Dan moans, clicking away at his laptop. Phil comes in and hands him a coffee- no doubt the first in his new year of coffee slavery. "Yeah, she is dedicated."  
"More so than us, and we're the professionals!" Dan agrees, laughing at the idea that he is remotely professional. "Thanks for the coffee, Phil, I-UGH!"

"What?" Phil asks, jumping violently at Dan's exclamation.   
"That BLOODY .EXE FILE YOU DOWNLOADED HAS FUCKED UP MY LAPTOP, LOOK!" Dan says, outraged, turning the device so Phil can see the static on the screen. "Whoa... Dan, I'm sorry, I..." he stutters. "Wait, is that... writing?"

Dan stares at the screen himself. Sure enough, materialising out of the static, are the world "Halloween isn't about fear, it's about honouring the dead".

"That's creepy as fuck." Dan says shakily. "God, Phil, if anything pops up I am going to have a heart attack..."  
"Okay, Bear, I'm here." Phil tries to reassure him, sitting down on the sofa beside him. 

As soon as Phil puts his hand on Dan's arm, the message disappears. 

And the video on Dan's laptop has been edited to completion.

"What the...?" Dan gasps. "Phil, I was only halfway through that!"  
"Don't worry, Dan, let's just post it and then go and watch a spooky film to take our minds off it. Howsabout the Nightmare Before Christmas?"  
"Okay." Dan says, shakily. 

Definitely not the work of a spirit. Nope. No way.

Why would a spirit want to do his editing for him?


	6. 4pm

"Ah, Phil," Dan says, leaning against his flatmate. "Why did you choose this film? It's so SAD."  
"I know, Bear," Phil says, "But it's not very scary and I thought that would help."  
"Yeah, I suppose." Dan agrees. "Hey, would you jump out of a window to come and see me?"  
"Oh, so I'm Sally and you're Jack?" Phil teases. Dan deploys his famous pout. "Yes, Bear, of course I would."

"I'd do the same, you know." Dan says quietly, as Phil turns his attention back to Sally's singing on the TV. "Jump out of a window, I mean. I'd do anything for you."

Phil smiled warmly and pulled Dan into a tight hug. "You know the same goes, Bear. This Halloween has got you spooked, hasn't it?"  
"Yeah... a bit." Dan says sheepishly. Phil squeezes him. "Let's go and play Outlast and scare ourselves witless, and you can sleep in my room tonight, okay? You don't have to be alone."  
"Thanks, Philly." Dan says in relief. "Come on, then, let's go face some lunatics in an asylum."  
"I know we are, but what are they?"

Dan's groan at Phil's joke echoes through the whole flat.


	7. 5pm

"Holy hell!" Phil screams, as the character on the screen is torn apart. "Dan, I take it back, I take it all back... this is horrible!"

Dan quickly puts the regenerated journalist into a locker and nods to himself. "Yeah, I know, it's brutal. But somehow really satisfying when you survive."  
"Much like in real life, then?" Phil jests weakly.   
"Ha, people in the comments on our gaming videos keep raging at me saying 'IRL' all the time."   
"Well, it is kind of annoying." 

"Shhhhhh!" Dan hisses urgently, as the locker grate is blocked out by a hideous face. "It's not like he can hear me through the computer!" Phil says defensively. Dan rolls his eyes. "Immersion! You are ruining the immersion!"  
"You and your immersion." 

At that moment, a man burst into the locker and dragged out the journalist. Phil leaps to his feet in shock at the jump-scare, with a rather high-pitched scream. "Er, I'm going to make a drink, do you want one?" he asks, already hal out of the door.  
"Sure, Philly," Dan says with a wry smile. "I'll have a cup of tea, please."

Phil is halfway down the corridor when he hears Dan shout "And next time, trust me when I say something is scary!"  
"I will!" Phil promises. "I will!"


	8. 6pm

"What do you want for dinner?" Dan asks lazily, looking through the cupboards. Phil leans on the doorframe and considers it. "We could just be slobs and microwave some leftovers?"

"Great idea!" Dan agrees enthusiastically, opening the fridge. "I can offer you... hm... a delicious tin of tuna?"  
"Er, no."  
"How about a lettuce?"  
"What are we, Dil? Garden salad? Doesn't seem substantial enough for a dinner, Dan."

Dan chuckles. "Alright, Fussy McFuss, there are two portions of lasagne left. Will that do?"  
"One without cheese?"  
"Yes, Phil, I remembered to only put cheese on half the lasagne."  
"You're amazing."

Dan turns around from the microwave, plate in hand, to smile at the compliment. "No, you're amazing, Phil."  
"I see what you did there, Dan- you're on fire!"  
"My username is danisnotonfire, Phil...9/10 for effort, 0/10 for accuracy."  
"Aw, come on, that was worth at least a 2."

Dan sighs and hands him a plate. "Well, some lukewarm lasagne will have to do. Come on." 

Phil simply grins. He knows full well that he can push for a 3 by the end of the evening.


	9. 7pm

"Creepy drawings, Phil!" Dan gasps, hiding behind a cushion, Phil burrows down to join him. "Maybe the Blair Witch Project was a horrible choice in film, then..." he agrees fearfully.

"Oh, Christ, they're found a cabin- no, NO, don't go in the cabin! What are you, thick? Why would you go into a cabin in the woods you've just found when people keep disappearing? Just call the bloody police and run!" Dan shouts in a frustrated commentary, half-scared, half-indignant.   
"It does seem a bit daft." Phil agrees.  
"Daft? It's suicidal!" 

"Maybe they're just trying to help their friends." Phil argues, taking his gaze off the screen to look Dan in the eye. "Maybe they love the people they've lost so much that they would risk their lives to get them back."  
"That was deep." Dan says simply.   
"Yeah... I don't really know where that came from, actually."

With a sudden hiss of string against fabric, the living room blinds shoot up as if someone has yanked the cord. Dan says a truly unrepeatable word as he clutches at Phil. Phil grabs him back, spine stiffened in fear. "Holy..." Phil mutters, leaping up to close it again.  
"There is no logical explanation for that, Phil!" Dan half-sobs in terror.   
"It could be that the cord came loose, or there was a draught, or-"  
"A draught? A DRAUGHT? Are you kidding me?"  
"Easy, Dan. Let's just get ready for bed, okay? Today's been weird enough as it is."

A moment of silence passes.

"I don't want to be alone." Dan whispers.   
"Okay, well, I'll come and sit outside the bathroom door and chat to you, how about that? And we'll put all the lights on."  
"Thanks, Philly." Dan says almost shyly, taking Phil's proffered hand and following him to the bathroom.


	10. 8pm

"The gaming video has had loads of hits so far." Dan says proudly, his damp hair sticking up in all directions. Phil musses it lovingly as he comes to sit next to Dan on the sofa, still wrapped up in a snowy-white bath towel. "That's good, so it was worth something then." he says, as Dan attempts to fix his hair and shoots him a murderous look. 

"Yes, about 100,000 views so far, 25,000 likes and 598 dislikes."  
Phil beams. "That's great!" Dan swallows hard, and shuts his laptop screen. "Phil."  
"Yeah?"  
"I've been thinking."  
"That's dangerous."  
"What are you, my dad? I'm being serious."  
"Sorry. Go on."

Dan shakes his head. "Things have happened today... That I don't like. At all. That spoon thing, this morning- I blamed you for it, but what if something else moved your spoon back into your cup after you'd put it in the sink? And then my laptop, and the static, and the creepy message, and the blinds flying up..."  
"Dan, all of those have rational explanations." Phil tries.  
"But they weren't rational!"  
"What are you saying, that we're being messed with by a spirit or something?"

Dan looks Phil directly in the eye. "I don't know."


	11. 9pm-11pm

Dan fell asleep on the sofa first.

He was fitful, restless, his mouth working as he slept. Phil watched him for a while, hoping that he wasn't having nightmares.

After a while, Phil fell asleep too, lolling against his Bear's shoulder. His own dreams weren't exactly pleasant.

They were awoken by a strange noise at midnight.


	12. 12pm

BANG.

Dan and Phil leap off the sofa, both in total 'there's someone in our flat' mode, at whatever the hell the noise is. Phil grasps his towel closer around him and steps closer to his Bear as they stare around the dimly lit living room, trying to work out what they just heard. 

Simultaneously, like a bad film, they turn round together.

The ghost grins back at them. "Hi, guys."

There is a moment of silence. Then-

"Holy shi- PHIL, THERE IS A GHOST IN OUR LIVING ROOM!" Dan screams, taking a few steps back, his face ashen. Phil reaches for him protectively. "What do you want? Who are you?" he asks trying to sound more sure than he feels. 

"Oh," says the ghost. "Let's try and answer the easier question first, shall we?" Dan looks him up and down in shock, taking in the all-black attire, the bunny slippers- hold on, what the hell? The ghost pushes back his semi-transparent black hair and smiles, his round face creasing up fondly. "I'm Dil."

"Phil." Dan says hoarsely. "Phil, our Sim's ghost is talking to us in the living room."  
"I know, Bear, this is crazy... Hold on, you're not even dead, are you? What am I saying, you're not even here..." Phil rambles in confusion, staring at Dil. The ghost smiles again. "Well, no, I'm not dead, but I'm not exactly alive either. And let's work with the assumption that I am here, because the only other option is that you're both sharing a delusion of some sort."  
"Oh, god, Phil, he's inherited my existential crisis questioning." Dan murmurs weakly, staggering to the sofa and collapsing into his crease. "This is crazy."

"Okay, so it was you who put my spoon back into my coffee?"  
"Yes."  
"And you tugged the mouse?"  
"Yes."  
"And you pulled the blinds?"  
"Yes."  
"WHY?" Dan almost screams from the sofa, clutching at a cushion and drawing it onto his lap as if it will protect him from the spirit in his front room. "WHY are you here?"  
"To teach you the true meaning of Halloween."

"You cannot be serious." Dan says, shaking his head backwards and forwards in denial. No, I'm dreaming, no, no..."  
"I am absolutely serious." Dil says, frowning slightly. "Please don't have a mental breakdown."  
Dan glances up to glare at him, breathing deeply. "I'll try not to."  
"Thank you. Now- you were too obsessed with being scared of the dark and fearing everything about Halloween to see the bigger picture." Dan looked outraged. "What?"  
"And Phil, you were too absorbed in making everyone else happy, so you forgot to care for yourself."  
"I-" Phil interjects.

"Just think about it. This morning, you were fighting over a spoon. Now, since then, you've realised that there are more important things than fear, Dan. Remember earlier, when you said you'd do anything for Phil? You know that you would. Even if you were terrified. You'd run down any dark hallway, fight off any paranormal creature, even give yourself up in exchange for him. Remember that courage."

Dan stares at the ghost silently, and then nods once.

"Phil- you let Dan make dinner for once. He's more than capable of reheating leftovers, you don't need to take all the responsibility. And playing Outlast showed you that Dan's judgement is excellent most of the time, so you can trust him to make his own decisions. He'd rather have a friend than a protector. You're HIS Phil, not his Dad or his guardian. Let him make his own mistakes and pick him up when he falls down, don't carry him on the off chance he might fall."

Phil looks across at Dan with tears in his eyes. Dan manages a small smile, so Phil nods too. 

Dil glances at the clock. "Oh dear, look at that. 12:05. I'd better be going. So just remember, you two- the spirit of Halloween is not about scaring each other, watching horror films or trick or treating. It's about whose arms you run to when you're scared. Goodbye- and I'm sorry if I really scared you. Keep playing the Sims!" 

Dan opens his mouth to say something, Phil steps forwards, but Dil has already vanished.

"A ghost." Phil finally mutters.  
"Of our Sim." Dan adds slowly.  
Phil suddenly starts laughing. "That's bloody ridiculous." Dan finds himself laughing, too. The night has exhausted them, both emotionally and physically, so Phil comes and flops down next to Dan on the sofa. "He made a good point, though, I think." Dan muses. "Oh?"  
"I love you, Philly."  
"I love you too, Bear."

When the pair wake up on the sofa the morning after Halloween, there's something in the air. "God, Phil..." Dan groans, stretching. "I had the WEIRDEST dream..."  
"Me too." Phil echoes. "But I think I learnt something."  
"Me t-" Dan's voice cuts off and his mouth drops open."  
"What?" Phil asks sleepily, following Dan's shocked eye line.

There, on the coffee table, sits Dan's little pumpkin.

Dil's smiling face is carved into it, every line expertly captured. And below that, written neatly in a flowing script into the flesh of the vegetable, are the words "See you next year!"

Dan turns to Phil, and says shakily "That was both the worst and best Halloween of my life."  
Phil just shrugs, and smiles. "I agree. Now, I believe I owe you another coffee?" Dan shakes off his fear and grins, as he follows Phil to the kitchen (the older flatmate still in his towel, the oaf). 

"I'll make it." Dan says suddenly, remembering his lesson.  
"You don't have to." Phil says, surprised.  
"I want to."  
"Oh, well then- thanks."

Dam turns to look at him as he filled the kettle, and the glowing blue of Phil's eyes meets the mysterious chocolate brown of Dan's.

"You know- I love you, Philly."  
"I love you too, Bear."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that, cubs! Please comment and let me know what you thought of this, as it's been a real labour of love- I've spent all day writing it :) Just because I love you all, of course. Happy Halloween.
> 
> On that note, here ends another Halloween, both for Phan and for us. Maybe learn something form Dil's Ghost, and talk to the person you'd run to when you get scared instead of focusing on the 'being scared' part of Halloween. Or you never know...
> 
> You might just find a certain Spirit Sim paying you a visit ;) xx

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked that, cubs! Please comment and let me know what you thought- and there'll be a lot of chapters in very quick succession, so stay in touch!
> 
> And have a very happy (and spooky) Halloween! xx


End file.
